Happy Thanksgiving?

This year I'm having a hard time being thankful. Besides the year that we lost our daughter, 2010 has been the worst one yet.

The year started off with a business venture that was supposed to be beneficial to local artisans. It ended up bringing out the worst in people, creating a toxic mess. It became very stressful being around my peers and I lost a lot of respect for most of them. I couldn't get out of that fiasco fast enough.

Early this summer, someone who was supposed to be my friend, turned on me and tried to humiliate me publicly. While her little temper tantrum only served to make herself look bad, it still hurt that someone I really liked was capable of being so malicious. I sobbed for days.

In August, my step-mom passed away. She had been fighting cancer for five years and MS for even longer. We always knew it was only a matter of time, but it still didn't make it any easier for us. Sharon was different and unlike anyone I had ever met before. She was very prim and proper and the only one I've ever known who times her pasta when she cooks it. It only made me love her more. She felt that she didn't deserve my sister and I and the grandkids because we weren't related by blood. She failed to realize that it didn't matter, that you can create your own bonds through love and friendship.

Then in October, my mother-in-law passed away, also from cancer. She had barely found out a year before that she was sick and seemed to be doing OK with the chemo therapy. It seemed like all of a sudden that her health declined and she was gone. It happened so fast. I felt so bad for not being around for Sharon, but I felt even worse having to watch Pam go through it. It's excruciating to watch someone you love suffer knowing there is nothing you can do to help.

A week ago my sister was seriously injured. I won't get into the details here, but suffice it to say that it wasn't just the injuries she suffered that made me sick to my stomach. It was also the injustices done to her by the police and doctors that are even worse. There is no humanity anymore. Little things like respect and integrity have gone the way of the dinosaur.

Among all this I still had to keep up with school, the kids, the house and my Etsy shop. Not to mention other things that have come up that I won't discuss on my blog. It's been a struggle to keep my head above water this whole year. What worries me most is that it's not over yet. There is still over a month to go. I won't be sad to see 2010 leave. I just hope that 2011 is better.

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PS - Please don't think that I'm completely ungrateful. I love my husband and my kids, my pets and my home. I have some great friends and family members. I am thankful for them and hope they stay safe and happy.