This afternoon a certain person who shall remain nameless informed me that my house was full of crap and she wanted to send a mutual acquaintance over while I wasn't home to throw everything out. Nice, huh? This coming from a person who has held on to stuff for 37 years and has old catalogues from at least 5 years ago. This person also has a large house and an outbuilding filled with everything imaginable. I guess I shouldn't feel so insulted but I am. You don't tell people things like that. This person also snapped at Moira for saying that she thought meat was yucky. She said, "You've never even tried it!" I wanted to remind her of an evening several years ago when her spouse was shoving turkey down Moira's throat even though my wishes over the matter were very clear.
What happened to respect anyway? I was very glad that Moira was noticed for her respect at school, but, quite frankly, she shows very little of it at home. I love her to death, but she can really be a little snot. Sometimes I feel like a horrible parent for having to lose my temper and nag all the time. Moira just doesn't listen to what we have to say. I've tried being nice, I've tried punishment and I've plain just repeated myself over and over. She doesn't get it.
I think it's society. People show very little respect to anyone. What happened to social graces like RSVP'ing when it's requested or saying thank you? Those are two of my pet peeves when they are ignored. It seems like those things have gone down the toilet. If somebody says that we are busier these days I will deck them. People will always make time for the things that are important to them and social graces should be important enough. They are to me. Are my standards too high?
15 comments:
Oh,sweetie I hear you!! I think that that is one of the reason's why I have become agorophobic and rarely leave my house - I just don't like people!! They are rude, pushy and very disrespectful. I am so sorry that you are having a bad day and if you need me to I will tell all those people to take a flying leap for you!
I love you very much and thank you for everything you have done for me in the past and in the future if I ever forget to say it! Love, Erica xoxoxo
Hey, I am hearing both you and Erica loud and clear. Despite my complaints that I don't get out of the house much - there is no place I would rather be. People are weird. Maybe I'm wierd? I don't know, I just feel so sensitive to all of it. One of the many things I love about you Robyn is your blunt honesty - don't ever tone that done. Don't let anybody talk to you like that. You are a strong woman who has been through so much - you are like an elder to me and should be to certain people who are older than you.
Our Max is sooo loved at school and such an angel there. He is a monkey extrodannaire at home and won't clean worth nothing! It drives us mad. We are working on it daily, and are determined that the kids will treat us with the respect we give them and that they readily hand out elsewhere, to other adults. The bottom line is they feel safer and more relaxed at home, so they try to get away with stuff. We have to remain consistent and firm. Let them no we love them but that we will all be happier if we respect house rules. Daily battle! It's worth it though, it is for their own benefit.
I love you Robyn...and stay true to your own sweetness Erica, it will prevail.
Thanks, girls! I love you!
Lise, I'm glad to hear that Max is the same way. I agree with you that they feel comfortable at home and take us for granted. We do love our kids unconditionally and they obviously know it. I guess that's a good thing, even if it backfires sometimes.
I feel so bad that that happened to you! That would have hurt my feelings. You are a fantastic mom and wife. Moira is a sweetheart. I can't even fathom her being naughty to you. But I think I know how you feel. Just keep up the good work. And try not to let people upset you about things that are not their business.
you're welcome! Also, there is something about six. When Oliver was six he drove us crazy, we were frustrated and angry on a daily basis, I was so sad about it. Where had that sweet baby and toddler gone? But guess what? At nine he has become such a little gentleman. He tries so hard to please us and to do the right thing at home, and does so on his own initiative. I have no doubt that Max and Moira will get there also. I don't believe in the terrible twos, I think six is where they have their awkward growing pains. They are little rebels at home. It WILL pass!
Well here I am.... I just had to reply to this blog. I was so sorry to hear that you were having a rough day. They can make your life a misery until they pass but pass they do and other lovely things fill your heart again with much love and joy sometimes when you were not expecting them. You are very special and well loved by your family and that will never change. So sending warm lovely thoughts from snowy the island.
Lise - I'm to hear that this six thing was just a phase, but do I really have to wait until she's nine?! I don't know if I can wait that long. I often wonder too what happened to the sweet, happy-go-lucky child that I so dearly loved. At least you have given me hope.
Nana - I'm so glad you came to check out my blog! There was a quote in the paper this weekend from a new novel about Mata Hari. I wish I had saved the article because there was a quote from the book and I wish I could remember the whole thing, but in the quote it kept saying "tilt and adjust". I really liked that. Now I keep telling myself to tilt and adjust. I think I'll have it tattooed on my arm so that I can see it everyday. Love you lots!
Tilt and adjust sounds about perfect to me also.
And we noticed improvements in Oliver's behaviour every year, not suddenly at nine, so don't worry! I just had a chat with Max tonight about Moira's award and how he and she are similar. I told him that he should ask himself if he would do or say something at school, and if he wouldn't, then he shouldn't do it at home either. That when he is helpful and and a good listener at home it will help him have a better day. Hopefully he was listening! Something tells me I'll be reminding him...
Lise, I have to agree with you about the sixes - at least with Caitlin - that's when it really started happening with her (and it still continues as she is only 8!) but my other three started much younger. I guess all kids are diffrent and work on their own timetable.
Tilt and adjust!
I'm so glad that you girls already have kids so I can call on you for advice when mine hit a rough patch. Raising kids is all about trial and error. I only hope that I make very few errors. I know that I will definitely be relying on both of you as the years progress and Liam starts getting older. I don't get boys at all so I'm sure that I will need lots of help. Thanks for being in my life! I love you both very much!
You know what's funny, I get boys more than girls, I always have. I guess that's handy since I have three boys! I am so sensitive and Lily is also, so I kind of clash with her more. She is moody in a big way. I can even use the wrong inflection and she is offended! She picks up on if i am stressed or needing to be left alone, and she'll soak that up and become needy as well. With the boys (well, not Lane) I just say i need to be alone or please stop, and they do it no questions asked. They seldom take things personally. Boys are kind of "no BS" and talk to me straight kind of creatures. I love that. Even in high school my girl friends drove me mad, even my best ones. I could always run to a boy to hang out with and there would be no stress. My boys can have a quick fuse though, and sometimes they are indeed offended, but they don't say it and it will come out later, or days later. Lily will just tell me right away. It's personality also. Lily certainly helps me to be diplomatic and careful with my words. I find myself watching her in fascination, as I am all thumbs in girlworld, even though I am one. I get boys, I get men. Women are a mystery, I don't even get myself! I prefer it to be that way, we are undefinable!
Wow, that really surprises me about you, Lise. You seem so girly to me. You talked about playing with My Little Ponies and Sea Wees and Polly Pocket so I assumed you were all girl. And having two sisters I would think that you would totally get girls. That just goes to show how undefinable you are! I like that. Girls and women can be so catty and passive aggressive. It drives me nuts. I'm embarrassed to say that I can be that way sometimes, although I try not to be. I think boys and men tend to let things go and not dwell too long on it. I wish I was more like that. Maybe I can learn a thing or two from Liam. Having a boy is definitely an adventure for me and one I'm looking forward to. I'm anxious to see how the dynamics of our family changes and how having a mix of a boy and two girls will effect all of our interactions.
I totally agree with you Lise! I get my two boys way more than my girls! I love them all but I can't stand how moody and tempermental they can be. I was like you too when I was younger - my friends that were boys were so much more uncomplicated. Maybe it's because they are simple and not very in-depth creatures!
I also agree with you Robyn about girls being catty and passive-aggressive. And I, like you, can unfortunately be like that as well! It is so great to have children of both genders because even though they are individuals it still gives you more insight into both worlds.
My younger sister was very girly with the toys and my older was the opposite, I kind of played with both of them but loved the girls stuff the most. My dad always seemed to need more boy energy, and I picked up on that and kept my hair short, dressed in jean jackets, drove the boat with him and laughed at my seasick sisters - I put off the girly alot. I regret it to some degree. I would get up in the middle of the night and rock my sister's doll to sleep. When it was my birthday and I could choose a cabbage patch of my own I thought of her doll with all the dark long hair that I loved. I saw them in the store and I wanted them soooo bad. But then I looked at the boy with the short curls and I felt sorry for him and decided to take him home. Finally our house had a boy! But I was so jealous when we would play dolls with our friends and my doll didn't have a cute little dress and hair to style. I never really learned how to use makeup properly, I still am clueless about my hair. I am glad that Lily likes her hair wild because I can do a braid and pigtails and that's about it! Yet I am so much more feminine than my loud, aggressive sisters. I have spent alot of my life trying to be the person that other people want me to be, so I feel that only now in my 30's am I figuring myself out. And I only started wearing pink after Lily was born and I like it! Like Erica, boys and men were just mellower folk to hang out with for me. Uncomplicated, no games. I don't have the intense learning and sharing like with the women in my life though! That is irreplaceable! Except with Jason, of course. I guess I was the girl that would wear the dress for photo day but sported gum boots - or would climb trees but pretend privately that I was a princess needing to be rescued.
WOW! That was quite the run we had there ladies! I really enjoyed that. I'm totally starving for adult women conversation. You two are so great and I enjoyed our discussion. Love to both of you!
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